The US Army has finally admitted that its infamous ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy was merely an outward manifestation of its own sexual insecurities.
The revelation came during a nice meal The Army had arranged with the United States Senate at a quiet restaurant with a lovely view of Capitol Hill.
The Senate, which is said to be ‘Ok’ with the Army’s lifestyle choice, added that it ‘had actually suspected as much for some time but just didn’t know how to bring it up’. It has agreed to break the news to The House Of Representatives, despite being ‘unsure as to how they’ll take it’.
‘It’s about time.’ said one commentator. ‘All those big guns and uniforms and pushing and shoving, we’ve all known The US Army was gay for years.’
Government insiders have since assured The Army that, although The House Of Representatives might be a little disappointed at first, they’ll probably be happy ‘as long as The Army is happy’.
Clint Webb (see also: Generic Republican Candidate) for Senate